A Holiday Weekend!

**CAUTION**

Woe is me/Truth Blog coming

This was a great weekend…got out of the city, met some new people and I did wear lip gloss and mascara on Saturday LOL!

It was one of those weekends that was chill, no real plans…treated myself to a few things I didn’t really need but why not.

As much fun as I had there was that part of me that thought how nice it would be to have a BBQ with a husband & kid (s).

Another one of my visions...smh!

Another one of my visions…smh!

It’s that part of me that I want to tap out, the part that didn’t get the memo to Let Go & Let God. The part that is always worrying about things that I can’t change.

I want to shut this part of me off but for some reason I can’t…and I’m not sure how.

I have gone through all the steps…I pray often and have given it over to God or so I think.

But there is that small part of me that wonders when it will happen. That is the part that makes appearances on days like the 4th of July.

It kind of goes back to me planning…I have also planned how I want my family life to go, how my house will look, and how holidays will work.

And as much as I say its okay, it will work out. It’s pretty obvious I don’t believe that fully.

Which makes me wonder is that why I am almost 40 and still single. I’m still trying to help God instead of letting him work it out.

I don’t have all the answers and I’m not sure if I ever will…that is not why this blog was started. It was started to get my truth out, my thoughts, and my concerns with the hopes that someone else can relate and/or give me some advice. Or we can just share.

There will be more holidays and I don’t know if that little part of me will rear its ugly head but I will keep praying and living my life and trying to blocking it out. Or you may get another woe is me blog.

I’m sure by the time you read this my moment will be over and I’ll be back at work where I don’t have time to think but a free weekend with no plans keeps my brain going.

I’m not beating myself up because I acknowledged my feelings, had my moment and I’m going to get up tomorrow and keep living. He will find me…one day!

Signed,

Almost 40

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2 comments

  1. Andrades · July 6, 2015

    Friend …I’m with you and cosign your feelings. I was surrounded by family and felt so alone. These eggs want life lol. Its going to happy…but Damn it when Jesus … I need a gleam of hope

    Like

    • caneshagordon · July 6, 2015

      Exactly my point. I love my family but I still had moments of sadness. What u said these eggs knocking at the doe lol. One day friend, one day!

      Like

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