I’m not a Player I just Crush a lot!!

No Pun intended…get it! LOL ROTF!

It’s Man Crush Monday (MCM) …so I thought I would let you all know more about me, have some fun and make this blog a little more interactive.

This is my first MCM but I’m single, I have many crushes…so I thought I would start sharing. Well, the ones that are unattainable. The others are a secret…for now!

Plus, Monday’s are the days we don’t like to see, so why not look at some hotness. We can go back to figuring out this thing called life Wednesday!

Sometimes I think…am I to old to have a crush…heck no!

I’m single not dead!!

This week I will share with you my biggest crush (not a surprise to some). In my head if we ever meet (that is, if for some reason he gets a divorce, just saying) he will want to marry me. Had I moved to Atlanta instead of Nashville I am sure we would have gotten married.

Delusional? Maybe, but I love him!


He needs no introduction!

Since I am letting you all into my world I have a secret to tell you. I have an older crush and I was crushing on him when I was young. No clue why but he was so handsome to me and still is. When he married Nia Peeples I remember my heart sank. I was young give me a break. I think he’s single now so I have a chance. This blog could turn into something else…CaNesha & Howard sitting in a tree K I S S I N G. LOL

This is for the lover in you

This is for the lover in you

Ok, I have shared my Man Crushes with you all…now tell me yours. Leave them in the comments; share on my IG (DivaDoll_13) or on FB (CaNesha Gordon). I can’t wait to see/read your crushes.

Almost 40












Single is not a disease I caught that penicillin can’t cure and I’m pretty sure I’m not going to die from it.

This is what I tell myself 75-80% of the time.

Been single to long..I'm about this life!

Been single to long..I’m about this life!

Ohhh but that 20-25% I have major woe is me moments. They go something like this:

Why Lord Why…what did I do wrong?

Lord, I try and live right, where is he?

And my favorite…I mean dang am I ugly??

I’m sure there are more but you get it.

I don’t and I won’t apologize for having these moments because I’m human and overly sensitive but I realize I have to bring myself back.

So, how do I bring myself back…I remind myself of all the good in my life.

I have a great family and seriously the best parents a girl could ask for. I have a great group of sister friends who take me just as I am. I enjoy my job, I don’t live outdoors, and I have a car with air…it can’t get much better right! Well, maybe that whole husband & kid thing!

Sometimes it feels like I’ll be single forever and that’s when the moments start and other times I’m living my life like it’s golden. But I think that’s what makes me, me and why I started this blog. And now I have you all my readers (praise break…I have readers woo hoo) to share this journey with.

I believe that it is okay to have these moments because sometimes for lack of a better word…it just sucks! But I also know that life will go on. In the words of my mom…just keep living!


Almost 40

This was NOT the plan!

This is not how I planned my life out and before you say it I know…If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.

Let me give you a little back story about me…I was the little girl who always wanted to be married with kids. I am not sure if I have ever said the words I don’t want to get married or I don’t want kids. This is something I have always wanted, yet here I am late 30’s and I have neither.

I had my whole life planned out…I was going to meet Mr. Right in college, get engaged after we graduated and then we would both work a couple of years while planning this fabulous wedding (of course my wedding was already planned I just had to bring it to life). After marriage we would buy a house with a white picket fence, have 2.5 kids, and a dog. Yes, I am scared of dogs but stay with me LOL!

Cue Romantic music:

At the rehearsal I would have on an all-white jogging suit with the future Mrs.___ on the back.

The wedding would be perfect, my dress princess style, my hair in curls with the top pinned up. Shoes… White Keds decorated with lace and pearls (the shoes the daughter wore in Father of the Bride), my colors Blush and Bashful (from the movie Steel Magnolias) you see I have been planning for years.

Add curls and this is my vision!Add curls and this is my vision…I figured you needed a visual!


The next day we would have a BBQ where my husband & I would have on t-shirts that say just married!

Our honeymoon would be in Disney World…because it is the greatest place on earth!

You see the plan was perfect, flawless if I must say so myself… Yet, it still hasn’t happened; I can’t even say I’ve been close.

According to my plans I should be celebrating about 15 years of marriage at this point.

But instead I’m only celebrating starting a blog…which is exciting don’t get me wrong but celebrating a wedding anniversary would be nice, or a kids birthday.

I guess it is true if you want to make God laugh tell him your plans & he will show you his.

I have no clue what the future holds …BUT I do know I should probably stop planning!


Almost 40

My first blog post FINALLY!!!

I have wanted to start a blog for years…one day several years back my brother and I were on the phone and I was on my soap box about something and I kept going & going. Long story short, we decided I needed to do a blog…probably so he wouldn’t have to listen to me anymore LOL!

Then fear came around & I never did it…what was I scared of?
Will people read it?
Will they like it?
Will I get followers?
Last but not least…does anyone care what I have to say?

It has always been in the back of my mind and then I started working like crazy. I did research that says you should do at least 3 blog post a week to stay relevant. Well, I hardly had 3 free hours so that was not going to work.

Truthfully there are several blogs somewhere out there on the World Wide Web with my name on it I never started.

So, here we are several years later & I’m like just do it…what do you have to lose…you are almost 40 (hence the title…get it) yes, I’m corny but that’s okay.

The next step… what am I going to talk about? I LOVE fashion blogs I follow many but hello, I get ideas from them so am I really a fashionista…probably not!

I thought what can I write about that I know all to well and have lots of opinions on. Then it hit me…You are almost 40 (very close), no husband, no boyfriend no kids, heck no dates…that’s it. Write what I know.

So, I think I’m ready…I think!

This blog for me I hope will be therapeutic…I want to talk about how it feels to be almost 40 and not where I thought I would be.

How it feels when people give me the sad face after they ask my age and then I answer no to all the common questions.

You know those questions…are you married? Do you have kids? Do you want to get married? I could go on but you get it.

I want to talk about if I knew why I wasn’t married don’t you think I would be. Why do people ask you that…I will save it for a future post but think about it…and if you have ever asked that question…really think about it!

And yes I would like kids but a husband on the side would be good too.

I also want to talk about that no my life isn’t sad because I’m single. I have a good life, great friends, and family. So, don’t feel sorry for me.

Honestly, sometime this blog will be about the fun I have and I’m okay being single.

Other times I will have woe is me moments because you know sometimes being single sucks. Ex. Car stops on the side of the road and your dad is 2 hours away…who will you call.

So, I hope you will take this journey with me the good, the bad, & the ugly and I hope that if I touch one person starting this blog will be worth it.

Be back soon…3 blog post a week remember,


Almost 40